Ep. 4 - Identity

In this episode of Blazing Hearts, we talk about our identity as sons and daughters of God in today's world, where we need an anchor of who we are that will never change.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:17

Welcome to Blazing Hearts Podcast, where we talk about living out your faith in high school, exploring practicals, and what it's like to live with a heart on fire for God. I'm Emily.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

And I'm Michael. And today we're going to be talking about identities. Because high school is one of those times where it's where you first start to truly form your character and who you are as an individual, as opposed to being like your parents being like, oh, I signed you up for this. It's you get to choose how you spend your time, what you do, more independent of your parents, and it's like more of an individual time. So I figured it would be a good thing to talk about.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Yeah. I think a lot of that like starts in middle school and like carries on into high school because at least personally, because I went to the same like school district for middle school and high school. Well, my whole life, but in this instance, we're talking about middle school and high school. I've had like the same friends for since seventh grade. Actually, some of them since sixth grade. But yeah, that like carried over because yeah, we'll get into that later.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

The nitty-gritty of it, but yeah, and I think for me, we have different experiences. I went from like private Catholic school, parish Catholic school to like a much larger all guys school for high school. So for me, high school was more of like clean slate. I have some of like who I am from middle school, but it was much more of like I can sit down, reset. And I'm assuming most of you are kind of past that point. Like you've kind of identified yourself as somebody or using like your interests and stuff by this point. So it's like what do you do when these aren't necessarily fulfilling, or you're trying to like fill yourself with identities.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

Right. Yeah. Yeah, like speaking of like things being fulfilling, when I was in eighth grade, my friend group, there was like a lot of drama that was like not surprising because we're eighth grade girls, but just like a lot of drama for like months and months. And that like semi-carried over into high school, but also like didn't. It was just very like odd time, and that like led me to a lot of like comparison and like what am I good at? What things do I like like not based off of my friends or things like that because I wasn't fulfilled, and I was just like going to school because I had to, yeah, not because I wanted to go see my friends, because you know, we won't get into all of that, but I was just going there because I had to.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Yeah, you bring up an interesting point of like comparing yourself to others and who you base your identity off of. Because Carlo Cutis has this quote of all of us are born originals, but many die as photocopies. Yeah. So it's like this idea of developing your identity is both this like individual role and also one that needs to be done with others.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Because so I would say I have like probably like three like main things that describe me are like man identities.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

Right.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

I'm typically looked at as like nerdy kid, but I'm also I don't know if I'm necessarily nerdy, but like, you know, I'm I also am fairly extroverted. I'm in sports, and I'm also looked at as the religious guy.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

Right.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

As I sit here recording a podcast about faith. So um but like these are the things that I would some probably say make me who I am. Yeah. And it's interesting because if those were taken away, it's a little hard to figure out who you are. And that's kind of important to know kind of like who are you as an individual? Who are you at your core?

SPEAKER_01 4:15

Yeah. And that was like something that was like kind of really hard for me to figure out because of my experience in middle school, and then just like going into high school, very like I'm not sure what the right word is. Like, I guess closed off because I was like, I don't want to get hurt again, and like I don't know, people are not gonna like me for actually being me. And then I went to life team because I was going to get confirmed, and then my whole world changed because I met people who actually cared about me, who like loved me, even though I was probably a really annoying little freshman that just wouldn't shut up.

SPEAKER_00 4:55

I mean, all freshmen are annoying, so right. Like freshmen, if you're listening, don't be offended. It's just that it's not. Don't take it personal.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

You'll understand when you're an upper class fan. But yeah, and so like when I got to life teen, I was like, wait, this Jesus thing is kind of like cool and like I yeah, like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

Oh my god. Like, yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

And I was like, okay, like I kind of like this whole thing, like I don't really know what it's about, but like I just wanted to learn more. And like through that was like my identity was formed because one, like, first and foremost, I'm a child of God, like, period, there's nothing else to it, like end of sentence. Right. But then, like, through that, I was like, okay, like what things has the Lord like blessed me with? Like, what are my strengths? Like, I'm good at drawing, I'm good at art. So, like, like I paint the banner for art, like church retreats, every single retreat, and it's just like things like that that like I have found like passions for through things that the Lord has like no, through ways that the Lord has made me me. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

I think that's important, especially in like knowing your identities, just what are you individually good at? Because you know what you are good at might be different than what your friends are necessarily good at. And it's important to be an individual, be yourself, because you're not made to be somebody else. This photocopy of other people. God made you you for a specific reason. So like, you know, you can explore your strengths, explore your talents, and be confident in what you are good in, but also be aware that you're always going to be this child of God.

SPEAKER_01 6:41

Right. Yeah. And I think that's just something that like helps me in like my everyday life that I can carry with me because it's not like, oh, I got a bad grade on my math test, like the world's over. Like, yes, it feels like it in the moment, but then I'm like, okay, wait, like the Lord still loves me, and my friends are like, grades don't matter that much, it's okay. Like, but God still loves you, specifically Avery. I you know who you are, Avery.

SPEAKER_00 7:08

Yeah, I that's a little bit harder for me because I stake a lot of my like identity and pride in like what I can perform, and that I mean that can be hard to get away from. It's like this you are worth what you put out.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Right.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

But what you have to remind yourself the truth, and I have to keep remind reminding myself of this, is like you are not necessarily what are what you put out, you're not good because what you do is good. You are good because intrinsically were made good and are good because of God.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:46

And I think that can be something that people struggle with in high school. Like, I know a lot of athletes, you know, might be cut like sophomore or junior year.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

And especially for guys, like all of a sudden it's like, oh my gosh, this huge part of my life is just gone.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

Because I mean, being an athlete, if you're an athlete, you know, takes it's like practice almost every day after school, lifts almost all year round. It's like, yeah, exactly. You your plans revolve around it. I don't know if I'm free next week because of track.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Right.

SPEAKER_00 8:22

But it's one of those things where it's you just accept it, and that's just part of your life. And when you have that break, or you just this is taken out, you need to remind yourself of like I am a child of God and I am not necessarily what I put out.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

Right. I think that can go back into comparison of like I'm good, but then like because Michael can is really good at this thing and I'm not so good at this thing, or like we have different strengths and weaknesses, like then it's important that I don't think that I'm less than Michael, or he doesn't think that he's less than me because like we're made equal in the Lord's eyes, and he loves us for different reasons, and like our identity needs to be rooted in him because like speaking from personal experience, I'm like the most joyful when I'm like prayerful like very often, and when I'm like speaking to the Lord all the time, and when I'm that joyful, like really nothing else is like matters that much, or like like small inconveniences that I would have been like, oh that's so annoying, or would have mattered a lot to me, don't matter as much because like I have the Lord, and then like when drama comes up at school, like in middle school, I'm like, okay, it's okay because like the Lord's plan, and like maybe these people aren't my people, but then like I see like later on down the road that like they actually are and the Lord has a plan, and yeah, like just finding people that I think have your similar interests and values are really important because those people can help bring you together with each other, but also with like your interests. In this case, I'm like talking about the Lord, so like my friends that are like rooted in Christ lead me towards Him, which again furthers my identity in the Lord.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

Yeah, and I think kind of what you said is like we I mean both of us find a lot of joy in our faith and through God. And I think what that tells us is that like you should find joy in what you put your identity in.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Yeah. If I don't like you know cooking sports or something, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

If I don't like cooking and I'm you know, like kind of force myself into a bad attitude about it, then maybe I shouldn't be like, oh yeah, I can cook, because it might not bring me joy.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

Right.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

But if you like doing something and it genuinely brings you joy, not like a quick shot of dopamine after getting a good grade on your test.

SPEAKER_01 11:01

Right. Although it can be nice.

SPEAKER_00 11:03

I mean it's it's an awesome feeling, but like it the burnout is fleeting. Yeah. But like those passions and interests that you have, those friendships that like fill you with good joy are really what you need to put your identity in.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

Yeah. Yeah. And I just what I've learned like over the years is that like the Lord is gonna provide all of that for you. And that's so much easier said than done. Like insanely easier said than done. Like if you told my eighth grade self, like, yeah, it's gonna be fine, you're gonna find your best friends and you're gonna be really, really happy and sad at the same time because you miss those people that went to college, but they still love you and like you love them so much, I would have been like, No, you're crazy. Um but here we are. So yeah, I think it's just just like trusting that like he made you how you are for a reason and he has a plan for you, and like it's good. Like the plan is good and it's gonna work out, and just when you're rooted in him and he is your everything, then nothing else seems to matter as much. But then the like rest of the ride is really joyful because you have him and he loves you.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

Yeah, and I mean that can still be difficult to remember. I mean, I I still I said earlier, like it's still difficult when you have a bad showing in competition. Grades. Yeah, grades. It's like it's difficult to not be like, oh no, like this isn't who I am. But then you you do have to like take this step back, find joy, and it's and you said it's easier said than done, but like kind of believe and trust in God that He is working in your life, and maybe you can't see it in that moment. Maybe you don't know why this thing happened, but it's the idea that God will still speak to you even when you're not necessarily expecting it.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Right.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

He's still trying and he is working to get you better.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Like he already won the battle, and like I don't know the amount of times I've looked back on my life that I was like, whoa, like I could not have told you a single thing that the Lord was doing in that moment. Like, for example, beginning of this year, it was like August through probably October, mid-November, where I was like so sad because my best friends had left like half of half of my best friends are freshmen in college now, and I'm still a junior in high school, and it there were these people that like brought me so much joy and like just filled me with life that I would see like every single week, multiple times a week, that they were just like gone, and I was like, Like, what do I even do with myself? Because it feels like a piece of my heart, my heart was like ripped out of my chest, but then like to just like sit with the Lord and literally cry every weekend, which is what I did. But like those tears were like my prayer to the Lord, kind of, and then like seeing what he did like with that, because now it's January, and I'm like I'm so grateful for like those times that I miss them so much because when I saw them again, it was so like so good. Like, I can't even express the joy that I felt when I got to see them.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

Yeah, and what Emily's saying is like it's not bad to you know look up to others to see others to kind of put your trust and a little bit of your identity into others, yeah. But it's also important not to fall into like the trap of like people please comparison or people pleasing where you're trying to be someone for someone else.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

Right.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

In the sense where you're trying to copy them or do what they say.

SPEAKER_01 15:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

You should you should try to be a better person for other people. Yes, not necessarily like serving others, like switching your personality or your identity.

SPEAKER_01 15:17

Right. Like if this like person XYZ, I don't know, in your life, like doesn't like you very much, like that's okay because not everyone's gonna like us, but then don't change yourself for them because the Lord made you how you are for a reason.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

Yeah. And that's I mean, it's not saying that any of us are perfect or have areas in our life where we maybe do need to switch.

SPEAKER_01 15:39

Right.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Like maybe an aspect of our identities where we're like maybe it's not as strong. But we need to switch those and orient them to God.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

And orient them into switching.

SPEAKER_01 15:54

Like a conversion of your heart.

SPEAKER_00 15:55

Yeah, exactly. Conversion of your heart and to be better, to make it good and better for God. So overall, what I think is the takeaway from this episode is the idea that your identity is exactly that, like your own identity. Right. You need first and foremost, you are a child of God. Yeah. And you need to orient all thing all things into the sense of I am a child of God and kind of order like, you know, know where things lie in relationships.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

Taking them in relation to the fact that you're a child of God, like, is this good? Is this something I should be doing? Like, things like that.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Yeah, and to know that like you can find this like brief moment of pleasure in other identities, but the closer you get to having your identity in good and true things, like good friends or being a child of God, you're gonna find more legitimate joy and happiness than just these brief moments of pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 16:59

Right.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

That's gonna do it for this episode of Blazing Hearts. Thank you for listening. Follow us at the link down in the description and subscribe wherever you guys get your pods. Have a blessed day and a peaceful death.